A Fool Among Saints

A Fool Among Saints

Something happened to me last

Week in Vegas

I don’t really remember

Because I was very drunk

And in between the games of craps

Drinking and eating

Something finally clicked in my head.

I know that before the Vegas

Trip and now after

I am lost, lonely, unloved and

Pathetic

A fool among saints

Getting tired of Joshua Kasper

We rode the dirty, crowded city

Buses into the strip

Looking for the

World famous Palms Hotel and Casino

Snuck aboard a private shuttle for patrons and senior citizens

Finally made it to the outside pool patio

Just before Steel Pulse took the stage

Paid $7 for a can of Corona

Randy fell asleep next to the pool

Then we left

We fell asleep back in the room

Waiting for my direct deposit at midnight

But it never came

And (it goes without saying)

You need a bankroll to make it in this town

The next morning I hit the ATM

And had money in my pocket

I played on the tables and drank Heineken

It was my birthday and I was

Bound to forget the fact that

I was getting older

I drank and everything was great

Then I made a few critical mistakes

First,

I started drinking whiskey

Instead of beer

Second,

I went into a strip bar

Alone

with a heavy heart and a wad

Of cash

I blew hundreds

Third,

Ate nothing for over a day

And that always makes my stomach

Sour

I came home with a guilty soul

Overindulged eyes

Sour, sick stomach

A lighter bankroll

What a time to be alive indeed

And somewhere in all of that

I started talking with

A girl at the bar

She was an older prostitute

Or she at least dabbled in the business

From time to time

She was nice and laughed at all my jokes

Grabbed at my crotch and

Kissed my neck

The bartender didn’t

Like it and called security

“She is a whore! Get out!”

He yelled.

She cried and pulled out five

Forms of ID

Wiping tears from her eyes

“Leave her alone,” I said, putting my arm around the brunette hooker,

“She’s no whore, I am in love with this woman and you are insulting us both!”

After a lot of bad noise

They let her stay with me at the bar

Where we drank and watched NASCAR

She held herself close to me

Scratching my back

Josh got himself a nice girl

Finally

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To Heaven, Hell and Back

To Heaven, Hell and Back

 

Pain has many forms

From weapons to

Sharp, edgy women

Both will kill you

Just as fast

As you let them

And you will let them

Dig deep into your flesh

You been here before

Forget about the rest

This knife is different

My heart is black

My blood flows down to

The basement

To heaven, hell and back

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The Christians Are Just As Off As The Tweekers

The Christians Are Just As Off As The Tweekers

Is this town full of homeless

Drug addicts and born again Christians?

No one wants to admit fear

Fucking and fighting

Drinking and smoking

Praying and fasting

The Christians are just as off

As the tweekers

A dirty, bearded homeless man

Speaks to me even though I have earphones on

He hangs out at the bus stop everyday

This drunk has a successful son

That lives in Hicktown, Tennessee

Complete with grandchildren, guns and money

His son asks him to come south to the family

The homeless gentleman declines

Because he has a good life, right here

He has his sleeping bag and his backpack

Everything a man needs at his fingertips

Living bus stop to bus stop

With no worries

He doesn’t have a wife constantly asking,

“Where the fuck have you been?”

Everyday I get on this bus

It’s a goddamn freak parade with

A few Mexicans and me rolled up inside

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Shroom Verse

What will be here, in but, a few?

Idiot’s words and phrases I once knew-

Because passion slips from my fingertips

Like bullshit flows from hypocrites

Finding love like finding drugs

Only one comes without the thugs

Camel lights, put down the lights

And drink with me tonight

Dream far away, we can only pray

Good times will come once more

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Awake! And rise!

My creativity seems to have been buried.  Is it because I have nothing left to say that is worth two shits?  Or because I have surrendered to Groundhog Days and nights?  Dig Josh, dig.  I know there are some shiny bones down there somewhere.  And when the light from a full supermoon hits them just right you can see all the way into the peace of the next day.

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